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Sunday, June 6, 2010

Writing Sample!

Here it is, I have not edited and it is only a first draft, but It is a little of what I have written so far.

The hot night was pressing against her; the realization of what she was about to do had just started to sink in. She had not seen her father since she left, almost a year ago. There was no room to hope that he would not come, he always went to the raids.
There was no moon out, the only light came from a few torches that remained lit on the path that led past dark cottages to the town center, everyone was asleep.
Lilana knew that the raid was only moments away; she could almost feel her father’s presence. Her heart beat through her chest, her breathing started to shallow, her pulse now pounding in her ears. She was on the verge of hyperventilating when William came to sit beside her, grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She looked up at him and knew that whatever happened tonight, it would be alright. This was something that had to be done, the people of Charon needed to know the truth, and this would be the only way.
Lilana looked back down the road and saw 9 men walking through the center of town, her dad standing in front of 8 of his soldiers. That struck Lilana as very odd.
“Something is not right.” Lilana whispered to William.
“What is it?”
“There are not enough men, he knows something; he never goes on a raid without at least 20 men, and I don’t even see Sam.”
“What do you think we should do?”
“Let’s just stick to the plan for now”
All at once, the rebel’s stepped out from behind houses, surrounding her dad and his soldiers. Lilana walked to stand straight in front of the King. The soldiers walking behind her dad did not look surprise.
“Well, well, well, my long lost daughter, Lilana how I have missed you” the king said. Lilana looked at him, not impressed with the show of compassion.
“You will not go through with this raid” Lilana’s eyes met the Kings.
Her dad clicked his tongue, “Manners was something we should have gone to more depth in your learning, it is not polite to demand, my daughter.”
“You will turn around and leave these children to sleep in their beds tonight, we will stop you if you try.”
He father laughed, the men behind him guffawed. “Dear child, did you not think that I would find out about your little group, I have known and have chosen not to do anything, because I am confident that you all will see the truth of my ways.”
“The truth is not what you fight for father.”
“I am sorry you see it that way”
“You should turn and leave now.”
“I would advise you to heed your own warning dear one; tonight will not go well if you choose to go through with your plan.”


  1. I like it! It makes me curious about what's going on :D

    And Kudos for posting this for people to read! I'm too protective of my writing sometimes :-/

  2. I swear I pasted and deleted a thousand times before I actually did it! I finally did it because I need feedback! Thanks for the reply!

  3. Haha, I know how that goes. Only I think I ended up deleting it :P
    So glad you didn't though. Keep writing :D